Baby Geniuses?

I had to laugh out loud and applaud my pal Rena’s latest blog entry, FINALLY someone talking some sense! Granted, I know that I am not a mother but I have had enough friends have babies in the last while and feel that I have a vague idea of where they should be. They all smile, they all bounce to music, they all know their moms voice…I get that you love your baby and think that they are the greatest, smartest baby to ever grace the face of this earth but really, what are the odds? Most likely, your baby is quite average so give up on it already and stop being so friggin’ obnoxious about it. However, if your baby prodigy does find the cure for cancer or can recite the full name of Bangkok, then seriously, do give me a call.

**Reference Rena's post: 01.25.2007 "Yes, You Have the Cutest, Smartest Child Ever"..click on her name in green in the text above.

Willow Kinloch

Police brutality or doing their job? That’s for the courts to decide I guess but what is a bratty 15 year old girl doing completely drunk and stoned and out of control in the first place anyway? She couldn’t even slur her home address to the police officers trying to take her home. Do her parents really want to launch a lawsuit and inquiry 3 years after the fact into how this really started? As for her being scarred for life and "never being able to get over it", I think that was the whole point; This is what happens when you are drunk, arrested and become a danger to yourself. Yet another example of fine parenting *rolls eyes*

Natural selection at its finest

We were driving in the car yesterday on the way to the airport when a guy was on the radio saying that the demise of contemporary society coincides with the lawn dart ban in the late 1980’s. I had to laugh because his argument was a good one. Any household item used in a careless fashion can be harmful but lawn darts have earned a special place in history; unnecessarily in my opinion mind you. According to radaronline: Lawn darts were massive weighted spears. You threw them. They stuck where they landed. If they happened to land in your skull, well, then you should have moved. During their brief (and generally awesome) reign in 1980s suburbia, lawn darts racked up 6,700 injuries and four deaths. Thanks to taking lawn darts off the shelves, we are now left with these dumbasses on earth who otherwise would have been ‘taken care of’ by higher beings with a lawn dart to the head. Ahhh good ole’ natural selection.

Cue the circus music!

As far as I'm concerned, there are few things more annoying in life than baggage claim at an airport. I realize that the majority of the population is borderline retarded at best but come on people! We're all standing there patiently waiting to see our bag come around the carousel and grab it but you have to butt in with your luggage cart waiting to pick up 1 single tiny bag. First of all, you don't even need a luggage cart and you don’t need to ram it through a throng of people right up to the friggin' carousel making it damn near impossible for the rest of us. Some people should not be allowed in public.

I knew it!

How very annoying

Travel mugs that drip make me crazy. A travel mug is supposed to make your life easier by being able to grab your coffee and be on the go but how is it making ones life easier when there is coffee dripping out and spilling all over your shirt? Gawd.

Eeeeeew

What in the hell...Clamato is nasty. Budweiser is nasty. Put them together and you make JJ feel ill. I have seen navy people drink this concoction but you’d have to be a bit loco to join the navy so I kind of shrugged my shoulders. Who would pay for fishy smelling beer, errr piss water anyhow? Yuck

Parent Parking?

What's the deal with places like Home Depot and Whole Foods having "Parent Only Parking"? I have often seen whiny parents, scratch that...whiny mothers making snide remarks and giving dirty looks to those who happen to park in a "parent only parking" spot at 10 pm in an otherwise empty parking lot. This is after they have already parked their own car and are heading into the store with their gaggle of screaming children.

Why would you want to piss people off in the middle of the night with your kids hanging off your arms, hips and leg in a dark, fairly deserted parking lot? Are you stupid or something?

Funny though cause I have never seen a dad "defend" his right to a "parents only" parking spot. Most dads would not risk starting a fight for something so petty. This is called better judgment. Why can't the moms follow their example?

Scare Canada

So I was looking for flights on travelocity.ca today and I was shocked; Air Canada flights are now cheaper than WestJet, when in the hell did this happen?? But then I think back to my last NY JFK to Vancouver flight and remember this scenario:

Nice passenger lady “Air Canada, may I please have a pillow and blanket? It is oh so cold at 36,000 ft…"

Air Canada stewardess a la soup Nazi "No! No blanket for you. Five bucks."

It went something like that anyway.

I remember talking to a guy from England in the San Francisco airport back in November - his first experience on Air Canada was on a Vancouver/Toronto flight. His comment - completely unprompted mind you - “The planes are kind of tatty aren’t they? A bit like flying in the 70s.” Well said brutha, well said.

Infinite Asshattery

Hey, Stephen Harper; 4 cents off of my daily morning coffee?? Gee thanks, this 1% cut in GST surrrre beats something actually useful, like say oh I dunno....an income tax cut. Is it just me or is Serial Killer Harper a complete asshat?

Happy New Year Y'all

Well, it's been a while, hasn't it? Too long actually. A couple of times over the last while or so of my self-imposed boycott of the internet, i came close to breaking and posting something that i was burning to blog about but in the end i resisted! Oh well, I'm back and ready for 2008. I am sure that something will piss me off soon enough!

Things One Should Not Eat in Their Cubicle

The government has rules about scents and all things obnoxious in the work place so I was wondering why the private sector does not have the same? We work in cube farms too! I have compiled a list of all things obnoxious that I think should be banned if you work within 20 feet of someone:

- Apples (they are crunchy and loud and none of you can eat them quietly)
- Ice (don't chomp on it with your mouth open and WHY do you put ice in everything??)
- Tuna (it stinks people, THAT is why we have a lunch room)
- Anything that smells like burnt hair or roadkill
- Cheap cologne (I can tell you bought it at Sears, please, just have a shower and stop dousing yourself in that shit, seriously man)

Ode to the Migraine

Fuck You migraines. You are fucking brutal. However I appreciate the auras. If it wasn’t for the space between you and the mind-numbing onset of brutality, I wouldn’t have time to get so doped up that I thought elves were doing my laundry and asking me if I wanted to watch M*A*S*H with them. At least I have time to curl into the fetal position and pray for sweet mercy. So yeah, fuck you migraines.

You call this justice?

Tuan Nguyen laughing after being released?? Unreal. The crazy thing is that the judge gave him a reduced sentence because he "showed remorse". As Attorney General Wally Opal put it "For an offender to be walking out of the courthouse laughing at their sentence, the judge did not do their job and a review needs to be done". I am so glad that Global News got this on tape.

The Michael Levy case has made me so angry. An innocent boy at a party gets attacked from behind by 3 people: one punching him, one hitting his with a glass bottle and one hitting him with an axe in the back...he is now a quadriplegic and for what? To watch these 3 boys basically walk? Something needs to be done about our justice system, this just isn't fair.

Our system is weak

Our legal system got hijacked today and I think that we should let the Government know how we feel. More than 2,000 people showed up at Vancouver International Airport to protest the imminent deportation of Laibar Singh, a paralysed man who the government said entered the country illegally. The protesters surrounded Singh's taxi when it arrived, blocking off the road at the International departure area. Traffic was stalled, leaving passengers having to abandon cars at the entrance to the area. In the end, Border Services basically said 'screw it for now, he can stay and we'll deal with this later'. My question is, who exactly paying for this, my tax dollars?? This man FORGED documents to enter Canada! My compassion ends there.

Yes, Canada is a nation built on immigration; LEGAL immigration: waiting in a queue, filling out the correct forms, wanting to be part of the community. I have no respect for this man and he should have been sent home ages ago. Sorry but not everyone has a right to be here, you have to earn that right.

Raspberry Fatwa

What the hell Starbucks? I am seriously up in arms here. First you take away my beloved apricot raspberry thumbprint scone and now you also take away my backup, the whole wheat raspberry scone?? What is wrong with you people? Have you issued a fatwa against anything with raspberries in it or something??

You Know You’re Married When…

…you can chat about who’s toothbrush head is who’s for 15 minutes before you fall asleep and again for the first 5 minutes as soon as you both wake up. We have a lovely Sonicare toothbrush, which by the way totally kicks ass. Anyhow, the toothbrush heads have the coloured stripes on them so you know which one is yours. When we got these new heads, I chose green because it is my favourite colour and the husband got blue because blue is his favourite colour. Seems easy enough doesn’t it? Turns out the tricky guy has been using my toothbrush for who knows how many months now and we only found out last night this was the case…lots of finger pointing, laughing, etc. was had by all last night.

Our Nest

The man and I ventured into Vancouver real estate just over 2 years ago when we bought a cute little condo in the West End because we loved the location so much. We have now outgrown the place so we had to put our beloved nest up for sale while we were away on holidays (to save us the pain of having to clean like crazy on a daily basis). I am happy to report that the nest was only on the market for 2 days, received 4 offers and we sold for above the list price, WOOT. Gotta love the ‘Couv’s crazy-ass real estate market.

Business on the Islands

The man and I spent just over a week away on a tall ship cruise throughout the Caribbean. Needless to say, it was awesome, relaxing, fun and I can’t wait to go away again! I like to make fun of poor/interesting customer service in the ‘Couv but it took a holiday to remind me that crappy/strange service is everywhere. In Barbados we went to a gas station to buy water and sunscreen. We placed the items on the counter and the whale of a cashier refused to lean forward to grab the items from her sitting position on her stool. She asked us to move the items forward so she could scan them…way to get off your chair you lazyass.

The second example of interesting business practice took place beside the pool. A local strolled over with a bunch of aloe vera and a small machete and proceeded to try and rub my feet with aloe. I told him to stay away from my feet as I am ticklish and did not want aloe so he moved onto my man. He starts rubbing HIS feet with the aloe and when he starts objecting the local says “Don’t worry man; I’m not a gay boy”. Nice, good to know.

Chicago O'Hell

The man and I had to catch a connecting flight in Chicago's O'Hare airport today. We asked the nice lady at the American Airlines help desk where our connecting gate was and she sent us merrily on our way. When we got there it was obvious her directions were wrong. All of the information booths along the way were open with no one in them (verrrry helpful). Basically we spent an hour flat out running through O'Hare lost, trying to find help, asking people who worked there where to go. Finally we found a pilot and asked her and she lead us right to our gate as the last boarding call was announced. Why does the airport hire people to be 'ambassadors' when they obviously cannot find their own ass with their own two hands?

My Tourette's is back

Hey sports fans, what kind of dumbass plans for the CFL Western Final to end right before a Canucks game? The BC Lions and the Canucks play right next door to one another; can you imagine the traffic snarl? Well, I was stuck right in the middle of it for over an hour trying to move 7 blocks. I was swearing up a storm and getting close to some serious road rage all because some idiot couldn’t stagger the sporting events a little better. This city really pisses me off sometimes. Oh, and why can’t people here merge properly?? One car goes, the next merges, one car goes, the next merges and so forth. It’s not really all that hard yet somehow, you people manage to F&$# it up on a daily basis!!!

The house of Christine

The man and I have bought a new place here in the ‘Couv which means that we have the joy of selling our current condo; pretty much as soon as we began the listing process, things started going wrong and our flat got all Christine on us. We had issues with the flooring, the baseboards, the soap dispenser in the kitchen, the window handle broke for no reason, etc. The last straw (so far) was when I went to take a shower as soon as I got home from my trip and the shower hose blew up spraying water all over the place with me screaming at it while scrambling to turn it off between fits of swearing and laughing; so not cool house, mmmkay?

** Oh, and how could I forget this! The man smashed the dining room light with his head by accident!

Pigpen Superhero

I thought that the ‘Couv had a lot of hobos but trust me when I tell you that San Fran has about 3 times the amount of hobos and 80% of them are completely bat shit crazy. I went out to lunch with 2 of my colleagues and on the cab ride back to the hotel we saw my favourite hobo of them all: Pigpen Superhero. This guy was standing against a newspaper box wearing some snazzy Bermuda shorts and a t-shirt. The guy was absolutely filthy but his t-shirt was interesting: it was normal in the back but he had cut the shirt from his chest down (only in the front) so his gut could have more room I guess….it ended up looking like a t-shirt cape hence the fancy nickname I have given him.

That Canadian Guy in SFO

Allstream threw a kickass “Canada Party” at the top of the Marriott Hotel tonight for all Canadian and Canadian-positive conference attendees. It included free booze and food until 7pm and the view was amazing. Best of all was they flew a Canadian comic down to entertain us all, Glen Foster (That Canadian Guy). Him and Rick Mercer are about the only 2 reasons to watch the CBC at all and he totally rocked the crowd. Afterward I went to thank him for the show and invited him out to dinner with our crew and sure enough, he came along! It was a great night with lots of laughs. It goes to show the difference between celebrities in Canada vs. the U.S. though.

Talk nerdy to me

We were having a pint of Anchor Steam in the hotel bar this evening when I looked over at another conference attendee browsing a magazine and I asked him “Hey, is that the Economist? Who reads that in a pub?” to which he replied “I don’t know who the bigger loser is here: me for reading the Economist in a pub or you for knowing that this is indeed the Economist.”

Watch out for poppies

So I flew down to San Francisco today to attend a conference for work. I made sure to not piss off the airport folks and painstakingly poured all of my shampoo, conditioner, face cleaner and various hair goo’s into 3 oz. containers and I put my lap top into a separate bin for the x-ray machine and took my shoes off before they had to ask me to do so. I thought I was pretty much the best traveler in the vicinity when all of a sudden, one of the chicks came up to me glaring away and snatched my Remembrance Day poppy off of my coat. Hey bitch, that cost me 2 bucks!! Plus today is actually Remembrance Day and I wanted to show my gratitude to those who made sacrifices for my freedom yet you crazy airport lady thought that I would use said pin to storm the cockpit, what complete nonsense.

The toys are making me dizzy

So the man and I are watching the news last night and there is a huge story about Aqua Dot toys being pulled off the shelves because they have GHB in them, that’s right, the date rape drug Rohypnol! Several mothers were interviewed in the US and Australia who’s kids had suffered the affects from putting the toys in their mouth. How many toys made in China have been pulled from our shelves this year due to high levels of lead and now GHB? It’s frightening to know what some companies are willing to compromise in order to save a few bucks.

None shall pass

So I call my Dr. today to make an appointment for a check-up for early December. I am greeted by the usual snarkiness that is Dr. M’s bitch of a receptionist/gatekeeper/troll who then proceeds to ask me what medical condition it’s for. What business is it of hers? It’s for a damn check up like I said. So then I ask for an appointment anytime in the first week of December to which she replies, “Well, my computer just crashed, can you call back in like a week?” Are you kidding me?? What is your f’ing problem lady? Could you not have told me about your ‘computer problem’ before asking me a million and one questions all for nothing? And why are you such a cow anyway?

Proletariat chariot

Why can huge metropolises such as New York City, Montreal and Toronto manage very effective and efficient public transportation systems, but the much smaller Metro Vancouver can't? I do find it ironic that Translink executives are aware and publically acknowledge that the transit system in Metro Vancouver and the Fraser Valley is not efficient. My advice to their senior management: fix it or lose your jobs. And if they want subsidized transportation, why not provide them with a free Translink pass - that's more than the rest of us get. Why should we support the executives who bypass the exact problem that thousands of riders struggle with daily in this city? Clearly, the Translink system is not good enough for them but is good enough for everyone else.

Sheeple

YAY many of you exclaimed when Serial Killer Harper, errr sorry, Prime Minister Stephen Harper announced that he was lowering the GST to 5%. It appears that most Canadians are indeed easily appeased. Why don’t you do something actually useful Mr. Harper and lower the personal income and business taxes? Anyone with a grasp of basic economics would tell you that this would be a wise move and would encourage more spending into the local economies as we would have a little more money in our pockets. Cutting the GST does not boost productivity whatsoever; it actually harms our competitive edge on a global playing field. How is that good for Canadians?

Money makes the world go round

I have known for some time that the 'Couv is an expensive city in which to live but I must say that this news article still shocked me. It talks about if you have ever wondered how you stack up financially against your neighbours. I personally do not talk about my exact salary unless it's with the man or my boss because it's nobody's business but to find out that a combined household net worth of 92K is the bottom threshold to be considered 'middle class' in this city is shocking. I know many couples who make less than this and have no debt load, I cannot imagine how people with a debt such as a student loan or credit card debt can ever truly get out of it. Many people are left with no choice but to carry interest fees, take out a loan, etc. It is human nature to want to 'keep up with the Joneses' but at what cost? I keep seeing the cost of living going up but wages remain steadfast, when is this disparity going to change?

Take me to your leader

I come to your Starbucks 5 times a week around the same time every day. Every time I arrive to your counter you give me and everyone else the most stunned look. You listen to us recite our orders and you shout them out to the barista completely wrong, every single time. Were you in an accident and did it affect your short term memory? If so, then please accept my apologies but I have a hunch that you’re just kinda slow. You wear your headband across your forehead instead of on the top of your head like nearly everyone else in the world does, trust me, it makes you look like even more of a space case. Basically, you're not pretty enough to be this stupid.

Seriously, what were they smoking?

Apparently the concept of gigantic animatronic dinosaurs in Stanley Park was a bad idea afterall. The Vancouver Park Board has finally shelved an absolutely retarded proposal to bring in up to 30 of the animatronic critters in a bid to attract more tourist dollars (as if the 'Couv does not have enough tourist scams/traps already). The idea was first announced in September and was met with almost universal ridicule. Stanley Park is stunning all on it's own, what in the hell were you thinking Vancouver Park Board?? Idiots.

I'm with stupid

So a girl walks by me this morning with a green shirt that says 'Everyone is stupider than me' and the old man beside me points to her and says “Now, what are the odds of that being true? Stupid.” Ha ha, good times.

Pissing away our resources

Vancouver is in a rainforest which means that it rains a LOT here. So why is it dear neighbor that in the midst of one of our famous downpours that I hear your in-ground sprinklers come on at 3 a.m. on a daily basis?? Your grass is already under an inch of water, can’t you forego the sprinklers until summer and stop wasting water and waking us all up with the hisssssssss of your sprinklers? Douchebag.

Facebook manners or lack thereof

Do you pillage your friends’ friends list in a vain attempt to bolster your own numbers to make yourself look cooler (a.k.a. a Facebook whore)? Do you add someone as a friend and then never follow up with a hello message or fail to return a hello message? Do you post group shots where you look fabulous but your friends look awful? People say that technology breeds poor manners but I think that it’s people with bad manners that are now in the public eye so their complete lack of manners and zero social skills are now out in the open for all to see. Whatever happened to basic manners people?

It's a wonderful day in the neighbourhood

The 'Couv was ranked the 2nd friendliest city in all of Canada. Obviously VANOC bribed the Reader’s Digest on this vote because I find the ‘Couv to be one of the rudest cities in all of Canada. East Coast and Prairie people are polite, warm and caring whereas Vancouverites push, shove, spit everywhere, let doors slam in your face, talk loudly on mobile phones anywhere and everywhere, etc. As I was walking up closer to the newspaper box proclaiming “We’re #2 in Politeness” some chick carrying a fake Coach handbag sideswiped me to push ahead of an older lady using a walker because she was not moving fast enough for her.

Stealing is bad

This is what happens when you steal. Idiot co-worker comes over to my desk while I am making tea in the kitchen and helps himself to the Listerine Pocketpacks by my phone. Luckily for me I get back just in time to see him peeling it off his tongue and making a horrible face when I inform him that those are Post It Note page tabs and not Listerine Pocketpacks...nice. That'll learn 'em.

Tired of you making me look bad

Listen up BMO; I pay off my credit card and line of credit religiously: on time, in full, all the time, every time. When I phone you in order to pay you, I always ask that you do the full pay out balance. Why is it then that I am hit with a fee every single month because your retarded telephone bill processors are complete idiots and only pay off the balance and not the payout balance? I have to phone and haggle with your management every month because of your incompetence and you make my credit look bad. I hate you with a passion BMO.

Home sweet home

This was prompted by a piece I saw on the news this evening: Why should the people of the Downtown East Side (DTES) be able to dictate where affordable housing should be located? I myself am a hardworking taxpayer who would like to live on Kits Beach; should the government pay for this also? If I could not afford to support myself in a certain area, I would have to move. I'm all for social housing but why does it have to be right downtown where the real estate is the highest thus costing us tax payers top dollar? Build it out in Abbotsford or Coquitlam. It might not be where you want to live, but it would be a real home instead of in a dirty alley. If you think it`s easy for the rest of us, you are obviously all on drugs. Most of us live pay cheque to pay cheque trying to make ends meet. The homeless are not the only people around trying to make a go of it. The money comes from us tax payers, it does not grow on trees. Personally, I would like to see my money put to good use instead of handing it over to a crack addict.

Oink oink goes the pig

If you haven’t already noticed, people who bring their private boorish behaviour out into the public domain really piss me off. If your tea/coffee/beverage is too hot, how about waiting for it to cool down? Don’t keep slurping and emitting a loud “ahhhhhhh” each time after you swallow, didn’t your mama teach you basic manners? I don’t care what you do at home but this is not your house and your slurping is irritating not to mention rude.

Just checkin'

We parked Hatchy (our car) at the airport over the weekend because we went to Portland. After flying back home late on Sunday night, we piled into the car and noticed a ticket on the windshield, FU&#!! I got out to take a look at it and it turns out that it is a warning slip of some sort. Community police officers walk around the lot seeing if you have left anything in your car, left it unlocked, have money in plain view, etc. Our warning ticket said “Your car has an immobilizer and an alarm…good work!” Yeah great, thanks…Don’t scare me like that again you punks!

Not fat, just big boned

I am tired of people and parents making excuses for youth being overweight. You’re overweight because you eat too much, you eat crappy food and you’re lazy. Get off your butt and stop watching so much TV and playing on the computer; would it kill you to walk to the store instead of driving there? No, you’re not big boned; big bones do not create back fat and belly rolls. And why do overweight women insist on wearing tight clothing that only showcases their roles? It really does not look good; don’t you have mirrors in your house?

I found this story to be both interesting and kind of sad, although I am not sure I agree with schools sending out such notes, I see why they have to do it as both children and parents seem to be in complete denial about obesity.

Jeopardy

So there I was totally rocking Jeopardy tonight when I realized that hey, the contestants are all 12 years old, no wonder I’m rocking the show. Anyhow, there were a few questions that I answered and they didn’t get so yeah, in your face kids!!! I found it funny though that all the questions the kids could not answer were all to do with books and literature yet they all rocked the celebrity’s category, pretty sad actually.

Cheek zit

Owwwww, I have a cheek zit. It lurks in the lower reaches of my vision, obstructing my view if I glance down and it hurts like hell to smile so I'm gonna stay grumpy all day, mmmmkay? I am totally obsessing over it today. It's all that I can think about...

Life on the coast

We went to the island for Turkey day festivities. On the way back, there was a 3 sailing wait to get back to the mainland. What’s up with that? I would gladly pay double the cost of the ferry just to drive back on a bridge, let’s build this damn thing already!

Oh and 3 annoying things that happen every single time we ride the ferry:
1) People who leave a crappy items on the ferry so that we have to hear them make announcements about how you can retrieve your water bottle, sock or torn wife beater shirt from the Chief Pursers Office every 30 seconds; thanks for being a forgetful slob fellow passengers.
2) People who put all of their worldly possessions across many seats on a packed ferry for family members who never show up just so you don’t have to sit next to a stranger.
3) People who start their cars up before the ferry has even docked despite the announcements telling you not to. Thanks, I have always wondered what carbon monoxide poisoning is like, I think I kinda get it now you selfish bastards.

Seriously??

Do you honestly think that because you have that annoying little yellow sign that says “Baby on Board” that people are magically going to stop tailgating you, give you more room or actually give a flying fu*# that you have a baby in the car?? These signs as well as the ‘mother-to-be’ and ‘new mom’ parking spaces at the mall make me want to puke. My mother had no problem driving the baby me in the car sans dorky yellow sign and I am sure that she does not suffer from any lingering effects from having to walk to the grocery store from the further corner of the parking lot rather than a spot created just for mothers. Why the special treatment all of a sudden?

We are all Canucks

It is one thing to watch the Canucks on T.V. but it’s no comparison to watching a live game at GM Place no matter where your seats are. According to the Fan Cost Index, we are now the 3rd most expensive place to take in a live game in the entire NHL (Toronto is #1 and Montréal is #2). So I guess we can all be Canucks but only a select few can actually go cheer them on for real given the latest hike in ticket prices. Way to endear your fans.

Oh, and I hate the new jersey. Why did they have to ruin it by plastering 'Vancouver' across the chest? It's beyond tacky.

How very random

Just thought I'd share my random thoughts from my walk in to work this morning:

I need to eat more leafy greens.

Places like Bean Around the World who insist on calling Americanos, “Canadianos” and ridicule those who do not use their pompous lingo. Can I get a side of freedom fries with that please?

How the 'Littlest Hobo' theme song still makes me sad when I hear it…why do you always run away?? They love you and want to keep you; stupid dog.

How does that blind lady shopping at Safeway know if she’s buying a box of chicken breasts or a box of pre-made hamburger patties just by touching the box?

I want a dog, reeeeeally bad.

Cause I'm rich bitch!

I was walking down Burrard Street this morning and I could see this crazy junkie chasing down a Helijet bus. He was pounding on the door with one hand and attempting to whizz on it with the other. He kept screaming “Take me to my hotel asshole!”. Of course it was complete gridlock so the Helijet bus was going nowhere fast. For 3 long, painful blocks this went on. He eventually screamed “Take me to my hotel NOW. It’s my hotel, I own it!!! I own it dammit!!”. Surrrrre you do. The whole time this was going on some nice girl in town on buiness from Ohio was at my side scared to walk to Blenz by herself. You junkies are not good for tourism or anything else really...except perhaps for my entertainment.