Take me to your leader

I come to your Starbucks 5 times a week around the same time every day. Every time I arrive to your counter you give me and everyone else the most stunned look. You listen to us recite our orders and you shout them out to the barista completely wrong, every single time. Were you in an accident and did it affect your short term memory? If so, then please accept my apologies but I have a hunch that you’re just kinda slow. You wear your headband across your forehead instead of on the top of your head like nearly everyone else in the world does, trust me, it makes you look like even more of a space case. Basically, you're not pretty enough to be this stupid.