Wednesday, October 25, 2006

MOFO Squirrel


Our communal garbage is located outside of our building a floor down. I know, I know, not a huge trek but when it's dark and windy out or we are just plain lazy, we throw the garbage bag out onto our deck and take it out the next day.

I should say we USED to do this however now we have a new pain in the ass neighbour. He is our resident squirrel and he loves to rip apart our trash and spread it all over the damn deck. He especially loves to do this on mornings where you are already running late for work, mornings when it is pissing down rain and windy and other times that just don't fit into my or Jacob's schedule.

He is a cheeky bastard too. He'll sit on the fence and just stare at us making dinner or he'll watch Jacob BBQ (he's damn lucky I am vegetarian or he'd be next!). The other day we were sitting on the sofa having a beer and some dinner and we heard this *click click* sound followed by the sound of a trash bag being mangled and lo and behold there he was again! He did not run away or anything, he just stared at Jacob with a 'WTF are you lookin' at' look on his face. Bastard squirrel.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

No Speaka Da English


Ok, Sunday morning Jacob and I are pondering what to make for dinner. I decide that a nice pesto cream pasta would be great and Jacob agreed. We set off to Commercial Drive to get most of the stuff and decide to buy cream at our local Safeway so it would not spoil in the trunk of the car while we ran our errands.

Fast forward 3 hours....Safeway on Davie and Cardero. We look all over the dairy section (which is like 7 huge ass fridges) and we cannot find cream. We hunt down a Safeway employee in his trademark red smock and ask him 'Hey, would you guys keep cream anywhere else but in the dairy section by any chance?'. He replies with a blank stare followed by "cream?". And I said, 'yeah, cream'. Followed by yet another blank stare and some stammering. Finally I say, 'you know, cream. It's between buttermilk and milk. You know, like milk but thicker...'. He had NO idea wtf I was talking about.

Who in the hell doesn't know what cream is?!?