Barnyard antics

It’s annoying enough that you insist on eating carrot and celery sticks in a confined, shared, small work environment but the fact that you insist on chewing them with your mouth open is simply inexcusable. We have a lunch room, use it!

Raise a little hell

It's amazing that you, your Union, and your union leaders would think that considering all of the inconvenience you have caused us Vancouverites as of late, that you would dare ask us for public support. That requires a rationalization process that I simply cannot grasp. I think that us, the taxpayers should rally behind a movement to remove the right to strike from all public sector unions. ‘Forced strike’ my ass.

Surrey is many things...

Surrey, Canada’s auto theft leader is looking for a better image, literally. The city wants your feedback so that they can produce a shiny new logo to augment their current coat of arms. Residents can participate by filling out a survey, there’s also a chance to win various prizes when you provide input. I wonder what the prizes are: those spinning hubcaps to pimp your Neon? Pepper spray for your walk home from Gateway Station? A lifetime supply of small size baggies to dole out your crystal meth in? Hmmm.

Pincushion

Apparently my yang is off! I went in for some acupuncture today seeing as I have been under a lot of stress lately which has affected my sleep and the traditional Chinese doctor said that I have issues with my heart and liver and that my yang is in poor shape. I knew that I was sleepy and stressed but my poor yang *sigh* Now I am sporting some pretty cool ear seeds and sleeping nicely. Placebo? Perhaps but it seems to be working so far.

à la Rodney King

What in the hell is wrong with the Vancouver Police Department as of late? Fatally shooting a bipolar man who was down on his knees, beanbag shooting an innocent guy carrying his cell phone in his hand, having a long time serving officer caught with oodles of kiddy porn in his home…Where do they find these people?? Apparently all you need to do to become a police officer in Vancouver is to have an undergraduate degree in any field. Does having a B.A. in Greek and Roman studies or a B.A. in art history make you better suited to be a beat cop? Computer says no. It’s scary knowing that we are being ‘protected’ by people like this; they have guns for Christ sake! I think we need better psychological testing before giving these people a badge.

How rude

About an hour after the man and I said “I do”, people started coming up to us asking when we would be adding to the family. First off, it’s none of your damn business and second I don’t even know if I can have children because, well, I’ve never tried! How do you know that I want any? Not everyone on this earth feels the need to procreate you know... How do you know I’m even fertile? I swear, the next person who asks me this I am going to make up a story and tell them that I can’t because I was actually born a man or something.

White & nerdy

What is it with all the nerdy white guys going out with hot looking Asian girls in this city? It’s an epidemic. Don’t these Asian girls realise that these guys are single because us white chicks don’t want to date them? And what’s with the creepy 40 something and older guys hanging around the ESL schools on Robson Street hoping to chat one of these young girls up? Creeeeepy. If I were one of these girls, I’d stick to the Coach or Prada handbag as a must have accessory, not a nerdy white guy who wears socks with his sandals *shudder*.

Sleep Country rawks!

The man and I headed to Sleep Country today as our current mattress is a piece of crap and is not conducive to sleeping through the night. Normally I would avoid a huge chain like Sleep Country at all costs but we figured that they would have the best selection. I must say that even though they are pretty cult-like and kept going on and on about how Christine Magee is the best boss ever and the fact that they had a huuuuuge picture of her on the wall by the cashier in a very Mao-like stance…I was uber impressed with the staff. They were helpful, did not push the most expensive product on us, listened to our concerns, etc. I would highly recommend them to anyone; Sleep Country rocks!

I want my damn potato

Why I keep going back to this friggin’ Greek place when there are a plethora of other places to eat in Bentall, I don’t know, but it is one of the few places that always has something vegetarian to eat so I keep going back. Never, not once have they got my order right; I order the platter and pay the platter price but I substitute salad for rice and then I have to fight, argue and whine to get my potato…the potato in which I am entitled to given that I paid for the damn platter so I can get my damn potato in the first place! Gawd, it is not difficult. Perhaps if Greek people or even English speaking people ran the place I would get what I asked for instead of having to explain to the Koreans behind the counter how a friggin’ platter works.

The world is not your ashtray

What in the hell is wrong with smokers anyway? Besides being stupid enough to inhale cyanide, benzene, tar, formaldehyde, pesticides and polonium into their lungs they also seem to have it in their head that they are not subject to littering laws and basic decorum. From a very young age, most of us are taught not to litter, so why is it that every smoker I've ever seen discard their cigarette butts on the ground instead of in an ash tray or trash can (once butted out of course, no need to be both a fire bug and a litter bug)? They flick them out of car windows, stomp on them outside of every office and mall entrance and they discard them in front of bus stops.

Come on, smokers; if you're going to injure yourselves and others via your filthy second-hand smoke, the least you could do is respect public property and cleanliness and clean up after yourselves. Your cigarettes are not biodegradable and frankly, we are tired of seeing your trash all over our city.

Hey PETA! What are my rights?

I almost got attacked by a raccoon on my way in to work today! There were two baby-ish raccoons peering out from behind these fence bars on Harwood Street and a few of us stopped to look because they looked like little convicts and then wooosh, I hear this clickity clacking sound as this big, fat hissing momma coon comes charging down the sidewalk at us! Sometimes I feel like I live in a zoo.

The Idiot

Lynn Colliar with Global morning news pisses me off at the best of times but this morning she showed just how big of a moron she really is. One of the local fire departments is raising money for one of their colleagues who has very advanced cancer and she sends out a ‘hello’ to him and says “I hope that you’re feeling better!!” Jeez, the dude has cancer not a frickin’ cold or food poisoning. Her relentless bashing of all the men on the morning news really gets to me but really, she’s just plain dense; and stop dying your hair, it looks fu*&in’ awful!!! I can’t believe no one has told you already.

Night Market goodness

So the man and I finally drove out to Richmond to attend the famous Night Market last night. The atmosphere was very much like the open air markets in Thailand so we felt right at home pushing our way around the hoardes of short people to look at the various knock off goods that they had. The quality of the knock offs were disappointing compared to the cool stuff that one can find in Thailand so we headed over to the food hawkers instead. Curry fish balls, skewers, Taiwanese cheese tofu, bean curd with Thai sweet chili sauce, etc. The food rocked and it was super cheap. We were stuffed for under $12! Well worth the drive.

Beware of the green eyed monster

Jealousy is an interesting thing. I am at an age where either my friends are really making something of themselves or really bungling it up and still kicking it like they were back in high school. It’s funny because the majority of my friends are getting married, having kids, establishing careers and buying up real estate while they still can. Then there is the minority of my friends who want everything that the majority of my friends have but are not willing to work for it, they just whine about it and try and take the successful/happy ones down a notch every chance they get. You, minority, can have your parties, hangovers and unstable relationships while the rest of us are actually having fun getting our shit together and making a sustainable life. Sure, we all feel jealousy from time to time but when it harms relationships and friendships, perhaps it’s time to check it at the door and get over it already.

Overheard on Davie Street

So I'm walking down Davie Street at around 7:45 AM this morning and I notice that an old restaurant is undergoing a transformation on the outside. In place of the old restaurant is a noodle place of some sort about to open. This couple in front of me is walking and the trendy guy looks at his female friend and says "And really, who doesn't fuckin' love noodles? How can you go wrong??" to which a disgrunted woman standing there waiting for her bus answers "I fuckin' hate noodles so there, too many noodles all over the place". The conversation cracked me up anyway.

It's really not all that difficult

Now for those who know me, you know that I am no rock star in mathematics, but I can still add and subtract with the best of them. So I’m at Starbucks yesterday getting my afternoon fix when the cashier says “$4.21, please”. My money bee* was chock full of small coins and a fiver and there was a long queue behind me so I handed over the fiver, a quarter and a penny. He takes the change and stares at it as if I’d just handed over a wad of Monopoly money and said “Don’t worry, keep the change”.

After the cloud of confusion appeared to clear, he looks up at me and smiles as he hands me over a loonie. I say “Don’t you owe me a nickel?” (to which the mid 30’s Chinese man behind me chimes in “yeah, he does”). The cashier stood there for frickin’ ever thinking, scratching his head, looking around and finally pulls open the drawer to give me my goddamn nickel. It’s not about the money boys and girls, it’s about the principle. This has now happened to me twice in the last 4 days and it happened to my pal Gareth as well this morning when he bought his morning muffin. Do they not teach basic arithmetic in schools anymore? I am tired of being shortchanged by someone too stupid to do simple math.

*(my change purse is a small, beaded bee)

Work makes me fat

So today L. brings in this frickin’ gorgeous blueberry cheesecake because she had too many blueberries kicking around her place. Oh my goodness, as if this isn’t one of the yummiest cheesecakes I have had in a while *drool, bluuuuueberries*. Screw 'office spread', I am headed towards office obesity at this rate if people keep bringing in treats…I am soooo weeeeak.

This one time, at band camp

I am in an organisation with this girl, for the purposes of this blog, we’ll call her Annoying. Everyone in this organization is fairly well spoken, sarcastic and somewhat abrasive; everyone but Annoying that is. She is always relaying stories that are somewhat interesting and then she will say something like “..Yeah, and so then I told him to shove it…Well actually I didn’t say that” or “Yeah, so then I went to city hall and said, ‘I’m not paying for this, it’s your problem, not mine’….Well actually, I didn’t say that”. You’re strange…stop telling these whack stories and if you do, let’s stick with what you actually DID say instead of what you wished you had said but didn’t have the cojones to, mm’kay?

Happy Pride!

So I spent my morning marching in the annual Pride Parade with my fellow Liberals alongside Hedy Fry's float. Our theme this year was 'diverCITY' (Vancouver is very diverse place plus it's fun, blah blah blah you get it). I was walking in a gown with these 3+ inch golden strappy heels and about half way through, my feet were killing me somethin' awful. Seeing Rena and wee little Sloane near the end kept me going though and I hobbled my way to the finish at Thurlow Street. It was a total blast and no matter what anyone says next year, I'm wearing flats!

Rat savior or off his meds?

I was dropping off some mail at the post box on my way to work and as I passed by the alley behind the Bang and Olufsen store on Burrard I noticed an animal cage/trap thingy with quite possibly the largest rat in the whole of the lower mainland in it. As soon as I dropped the mail off I came back around the corner to use the alley as my usual morning shortcut. As I rounded the corner, I saw that this crazy hobo had picked up this caged/trapped rat, threw it on top of his shopping cart of goodies and had taken off running down the alley…WTF was he planning on doing with that rat anyway? **by the way: it was not a pet cage, it was one of those traps with a way in and no way out**

No Bentall, YOU rock

So, I work in one of the Bentall buildings downtown and today they threw a tenant appreciation day for the entire building. There was a live mariachi band, free burritos, chips and churros and the weather was just plain awesome. Even though no one in our company won a prize, we still had a good time. Thanks for the free lunch Bentall, really it was the least you could do considering your elevators trap us and free fall several floors thus scaring us when all we want to do is go home!