How Green is the Grass?

Some things I have noticed walking around the big bad streets of the Couv lately:

Why do girls (especially Asian girls) walk around carrying their lunches and spare shoes in paper bags from designer stores like Tiffany’s, Hermes, Gucci, etc.?

The ambulance who parks on Thurlow @ Robson every morning where it specifically says “No Parking” just so you can run into Starbucks to get yourself and your buddy a frappuccino. Not only are you are holding up traffic but you are also parked illegally and you take forever because you keep chatting up the baristas who are 20 years younger than you. And who drinks caramel frappuccinos with whipped cream at 8 a.m. anyway?

Metro newspaper lady on Bute and Robson. I walk by you every day and politely say “no thanks” to your rag of a newspaper. Your new tactic is to walk up to me and hit me in the shoulder with your paper; WTF is your problem anyway? I see you do it to others too, you should not work anywhere near people.

The garbage cans downtown with the little cup holder thingies to put aluminum cans and plastic bottles in (see picture above). Those are so the entrepreneurial hobos do not have to dig through the trash to get at those recyclables, they are not for you retards to put your discarded Starbucks paper cups into.

Narcissistic B-line people. Not all of us on the sidewalk are waiting for the loser cruiser. Step aside and let those of us taking the sidewalk home walk on the damn sidewalk, geeeez.

ESL students on Robson. You do not need to walk 6 abreast everywhere you go. I should not have to step out into traffic to get around you. Oh, a pick up your damn feet while you’re at it.

Bute St. liquor store alley lady with the kids BMX bike you so obviously ‘found’. If you hate your boyfriend sooo much and he is ‘such an asshole’ as I hear you shout every day, then dump him already. I hear you screeching and screaming at him every single day when all he is trying to do is get you out of the middle of the road. You are in the middle of a hissy fit every time I walk by you and you deal with your anger by either a) throwing your bike down in the middle of traffic or b) kicking the dumpster. Get some professional help or lay off the crack.