Polite to a fault?

I travel to the United States a lot and Americans are always picking on me for my 'Canadian accent' (and I don’t even say ‘eh’ or ‘aboot’) Fine, make fun of me for not drawling my way through the Queen’s language, but could you please, please stop answering with “uh huh” when I say thank you? I guess it’s obvious that I am from North of the border as I actually utter the phrases ‘please’ and ‘thank you’….god forbid we have manners, basic manners at that but answering with 'uh huh' sounds both uninterested and uneducated.

Elevator common sense

It's annoying enough when people run onto the elevator almost knocking me over when I am trying to get off the elevator, but how about when people get on the elevator and bark out orders telling me which floor to push for them even though their hands aren’t full…what am I, your personal slave? Push it yourself, lazy ass.

That’s right, it’s all about you

I was standing next to you at the at the American Airlines international check-in counter at O’Hare when the agent told you that you needed to check in that huge ass Mary Poppins bag of yours yet you refused and proceeded to throw a massive hissy fit in front of the entire concourse. Great, not only did I have to witness that most classic of melt downs, but now it turns out that of all the planes leaving Chicago this morning, you are on my flight, in my row. You are swearing and cursing while you sweat and show everyone your disgusting cellulite-riddled Burger King gut while shoving my unobnoxious bag mercilessly into the corner of the overhead bin telling everyone that it normally fits just fine. Well, guess what asshole, how about you check in your GD bag next time like you were told to do and sit the fuck down already seeing as there’s 150 people behind you, ready to board with the proper sized luggage.  You’re the same douchebag who stands right in front of the luggage carousel with a luggage cart for one single bag not willing to move for anyone until your tacky looking luggage comes around, stupid ass.

Things that annoy me

- UGG boots; they look retarded, especially with a skirt

- Raisins in baked goods; way to ruin a good oatmeal cookie or a cinnamon bun

- Gladiator sandals; ladies, we’re not in Sparta

- Folding sheets or tablecloths with right handed people and being told that I’m “doing it wrong”. No, YOU are

- Nail biting; this is why you always have a cold and on top of that, it’s seriously gross, stop it

- Escalators; stand to the right, walk to the left…it’s really not all that difficult

- People who jump on team bandwagons only after they have made the playoffs; you know who you are

- Sales people at the Bay who won't take no for an answer and look all offended when I tell them that I don't want an HBC Rewards card

- People who 'hate' Toronto but have never even been out of Pearson Airport

- If you have an aisle seat on the plane and the middle and window seat are still open, don't look all pissed off that you have already buckled yourself up once the rest of us show up