Captain Obvious

I have a work colleague who I like to call Captain Obvious. This person has far too many annoying tendencies to fit into one posting but they do things such as the reading out of front page news on a near hourly basis as if they are the first to stumble across every story. This person also loves to read company-wide e-mail out loud to everyone as if we are not already reading that very same e-mail. Today they came bouncing in exclaiming “So hey guys, did you know that there’s going to be a fire drill today?” Gee, what gave that one away Captain Obvious? Was it the huge fuck off sign in the lobby of our building that everyone must pass to get onto the elevators? How about telling us something that we don’t already know? That or can you just stop talking, please? Even for just a little while? *sigh*