My Tourette's is back

Hey sports fans, what kind of dumbass plans for the CFL Western Final to end right before a Canucks game? The BC Lions and the Canucks play right next door to one another; can you imagine the traffic snarl? Well, I was stuck right in the middle of it for over an hour trying to move 7 blocks. I was swearing up a storm and getting close to some serious road rage all because some idiot couldn’t stagger the sporting events a little better. This city really pisses me off sometimes. Oh, and why can’t people here merge properly?? One car goes, the next merges, one car goes, the next merges and so forth. It’s not really all that hard yet somehow, you people manage to F&$# it up on a daily basis!!!

The house of Christine

The man and I have bought a new place here in the ‘Couv which means that we have the joy of selling our current condo; pretty much as soon as we began the listing process, things started going wrong and our flat got all Christine on us. We had issues with the flooring, the baseboards, the soap dispenser in the kitchen, the window handle broke for no reason, etc. The last straw (so far) was when I went to take a shower as soon as I got home from my trip and the shower hose blew up spraying water all over the place with me screaming at it while scrambling to turn it off between fits of swearing and laughing; so not cool house, mmmkay?

** Oh, and how could I forget this! The man smashed the dining room light with his head by accident!

Pigpen Superhero

I thought that the ‘Couv had a lot of hobos but trust me when I tell you that San Fran has about 3 times the amount of hobos and 80% of them are completely bat shit crazy. I went out to lunch with 2 of my colleagues and on the cab ride back to the hotel we saw my favourite hobo of them all: Pigpen Superhero. This guy was standing against a newspaper box wearing some snazzy Bermuda shorts and a t-shirt. The guy was absolutely filthy but his t-shirt was interesting: it was normal in the back but he had cut the shirt from his chest down (only in the front) so his gut could have more room I guess….it ended up looking like a t-shirt cape hence the fancy nickname I have given him.

That Canadian Guy in SFO

Allstream threw a kickass “Canada Party” at the top of the Marriott Hotel tonight for all Canadian and Canadian-positive conference attendees. It included free booze and food until 7pm and the view was amazing. Best of all was they flew a Canadian comic down to entertain us all, Glen Foster (That Canadian Guy). Him and Rick Mercer are about the only 2 reasons to watch the CBC at all and he totally rocked the crowd. Afterward I went to thank him for the show and invited him out to dinner with our crew and sure enough, he came along! It was a great night with lots of laughs. It goes to show the difference between celebrities in Canada vs. the U.S. though.

Talk nerdy to me

We were having a pint of Anchor Steam in the hotel bar this evening when I looked over at another conference attendee browsing a magazine and I asked him “Hey, is that the Economist? Who reads that in a pub?” to which he replied “I don’t know who the bigger loser is here: me for reading the Economist in a pub or you for knowing that this is indeed the Economist.”

Watch out for poppies

So I flew down to San Francisco today to attend a conference for work. I made sure to not piss off the airport folks and painstakingly poured all of my shampoo, conditioner, face cleaner and various hair goo’s into 3 oz. containers and I put my lap top into a separate bin for the x-ray machine and took my shoes off before they had to ask me to do so. I thought I was pretty much the best traveler in the vicinity when all of a sudden, one of the chicks came up to me glaring away and snatched my Remembrance Day poppy off of my coat. Hey bitch, that cost me 2 bucks!! Plus today is actually Remembrance Day and I wanted to show my gratitude to those who made sacrifices for my freedom yet you crazy airport lady thought that I would use said pin to storm the cockpit, what complete nonsense.

The toys are making me dizzy

So the man and I are watching the news last night and there is a huge story about Aqua Dot toys being pulled off the shelves because they have GHB in them, that’s right, the date rape drug Rohypnol! Several mothers were interviewed in the US and Australia who’s kids had suffered the affects from putting the toys in their mouth. How many toys made in China have been pulled from our shelves this year due to high levels of lead and now GHB? It’s frightening to know what some companies are willing to compromise in order to save a few bucks.

None shall pass

So I call my Dr. today to make an appointment for a check-up for early December. I am greeted by the usual snarkiness that is Dr. M’s bitch of a receptionist/gatekeeper/troll who then proceeds to ask me what medical condition it’s for. What business is it of hers? It’s for a damn check up like I said. So then I ask for an appointment anytime in the first week of December to which she replies, “Well, my computer just crashed, can you call back in like a week?” Are you kidding me?? What is your f’ing problem lady? Could you not have told me about your ‘computer problem’ before asking me a million and one questions all for nothing? And why are you such a cow anyway?

Proletariat chariot

Why can huge metropolises such as New York City, Montreal and Toronto manage very effective and efficient public transportation systems, but the much smaller Metro Vancouver can't? I do find it ironic that Translink executives are aware and publically acknowledge that the transit system in Metro Vancouver and the Fraser Valley is not efficient. My advice to their senior management: fix it or lose your jobs. And if they want subsidized transportation, why not provide them with a free Translink pass - that's more than the rest of us get. Why should we support the executives who bypass the exact problem that thousands of riders struggle with daily in this city? Clearly, the Translink system is not good enough for them but is good enough for everyone else.