There Ain't No Party Like a Walgreen's Party

Seattle, June 2010. I was buying some Bandaids at the Walgreen’s near Pike Place Market for my feet as my dogs were barkin’ and it was quite a scene; the cashiers were all either loony tunes or they were all high as kites…perhaps both. Everyone was dancing and bopping about and my cashier was rapping to me while ringing my purchase through “Butterfinger, Crackerjacks, yo…you want some? They’re great, so sweet. Butterfinger, Crackerjack YO!” I stood there in disbelief trying not to laugh at the hilarity of everything going around me. I will definitely be back, it was like a nightclub in there and it was only 3pm.

Guess I Can't Fly

So I was renewing the man's passport on Tuesday morning and I was walking out of the passport office on Hastings and Hornby. I was crossing through the crosswalk and no, I wasn't listening to my iPod or talking on my phone when all of a sudden I heard a scream and saw something dark right by my shoulder. I knew that I was flying and I knew that this was not good at all which was followed by a huge thud as I landed square on my shoulder, ouch.

It was pouring rain and my personal belongings were strewn all across Hornby Street and all I could think of was ‘did that bastard just hit me?’ Yep, he sure did. I got smoked by a GMC Sierra and I wasn’t even jaywalking! There were tons of witnesses and people trying to keep me dry and as comfortable as possible but I knew that I was going to be ok when one of the guys was on the phone with 9-1-1 and they asked him how old I was. He leaned over and looked really close and said “Oh, I’d say she’s in her late 30’s” to which I shouted “No, I’m not, I’m 29 you asshole!”

Greedy much?

I recently received a new BC Care Card and with it came forms from BC Transplant to sign up as an organ donor. I was reading through the various options out of curiosity and was drawn to the return envelope. It had this sing songy note saying that although the postage is pre-paid, you could affix your own postage to save BC Transplant the fee as an ‘additional gift.’ Seriously? Haven’t you already asked for enough from me? You really need another 65 cents? Ridiculous.

Conference Calls Can be Fun

I was stuck on a very long client call today and it just so happened that they were Dutch. One guy kept saying “tight integration” in what seemed like every sentence but whenever he said ‘tight’ it reminded me of Goldmember from Austin Powers. It was all I could do to not completely lose it on this call, good times

Decomp Microwave

I am sure that all office people have a love/hate relationship with their communal office microwave. What is with certain people consistently bringing in food that smells like decomp though? First of all, what the fuck is it that you’re heating up and second, why in the hell can I smell it from the conference room on the complete other side of the office? It’s beyond nasty and it seems unfair to make innocents suffer on account of your lunch, how can you even eat that crap anyway? You are the same people who rarely help unload the dishwasher or clean up, so my guess is that your home is a complete pig sty at well, yuck.