Spilly Ninja

Most of you are probably not aware of this tidbit of information but I am in fact, part ninja. I can be unloading dishes from the dishwasher and drop a plate and BAM I can catch it midair and nothing gets broken. I never break glasses or mugs even though I almost drop them all because of my ninja skills. Many have complimented me on my lightening fast reflexes but one person in particular doubts my ninja lineage, and that person would be my man J.

I am like Batman….Normal most of the time but use my talents when need be. Batman saves people and I save dishes so yeah, I’m kinda like Batman AND a ninja.

Below is an actual MSN convo from today:
JJ: says:
what is Batman when he's not Batman? a millionare biz man or scientist??
SiSi says:
Millionaire biz man/philanthropist.
JJ: says:
excellllent, ty
SiSi says:
...although he does dabble in some crazy science experiments...but he gets help from Alfred, his man-servant.
JJ: says:
man servant? Alfred for scientist and Robin for Batman...how very gay
SiSi says:
No no no....Alfred is Batman/Bruce Wayne's Butler...also known as a manservant. He helps Bruce to create his gadgets.
JJ: says:
surrrrre he does
SiSi says:
But because Bruce Wayne is a multi-billionaire he gets some of his gadgets from other divisions of Wayne Enterprises that work on military contracts.
SiSi says:
But yeah...it's one big-ol kink-fest.
SiSi says:
Latex outfits and role-play.
JJ: says:
hmm I think I will go w/ the lego Batman pic for the good ole blog entry today...
JJ: gettin' me a Mac says:
ha ha you kill me

Without You, I Would Be Messy

I am a messy girl. No matter what I am eating I will leave some evidence of it because I am always dropping or spilling or knocking bowls/plates of food onto myself. Don't ask me how, it's a gift. You can't take me anywhere nice unless I am wearing all black! That was until my mum got me a Tide To Go stain remover stick for Christmas, boooya! Now I can eat everywhere and spill all I like. This thing is a godsend...thank you Tide Gods!

Hobo Sounds

The West End of Vancouver is like a hobo Mecca. They come from all corners of the Great White North for the mild weather, the fresh ocean air and the heaps of crap that fickle Vancouverites throw away. I must admit, I have been tempted a few times to jump into a dumpster myself to recover a thing or two that my neighbours have thrown out but I do only have 690 sq/ft so there is really no room for any dumpster booty, yaaaar.

The thing I like about West End hobos is that they all appear to enjoy beer as much as I do. They are always up for a pint even if it is 7 a.m. on a Tuesday morning, why the hell not right? They have their morning, afternoon and evening pow wow’s in the various courtyards and tiny parks accompanied by whatever is on the radio, good times.

Most come equipped with a sweet shopping cart: Safeway, London Drugs and the Liquor Store seem to be the stores of choice in our hood to score those from. One guy however stole one from the fancy schmancy yuppie Costco downtown…the kind where the wheels lock once you are out of the yellow line surrounding the place. He is one determined hobo though because even though the wheels do not roll, he drags that cart along swearing all the way, quite a feat to watch.

The rest wander around with boom boxes blaring all sorts of obnoxious tunes even if it is 6 a.m. on Saturday morning, I mean who wants to fish around in a dumpster while listening to the radio? Too many commercials if you ask me. My favourite is the guy who is always in the dumpster on Bute (by the smelly veggie market) who sings Marvin Gaye and James Brown tunes and who screams out “HEY! I like yer ass gurrrl!”. He yells it to all the ladies so we all feel a little more special on the daily walk to the office. When men walk by though he just yells “Hey man, that stuff be being MINE so watch out!”. Ahhh the West End, gotta love the hobos.

BC Ferries Fabricates Falseity

Saturday morning: I got up nice and early and made sure that I was on time for the ferry to the island to make it to my cousin D's bridesmaid dress pick out/try on day. I arrive there just in time and the ticket counter lady informs me that there has been a 'medical emergency' on board the ferry and that they had to turn back to Victoria to tend to the passenger. We were all informed that the ferry would be at least an hour late because of this.

Normally people get real pissy if the ferry is even 5 minutes late so I was beyond impressed that no one was bitching and whining about the inconvenience. However, in a group there is always at least one shit disturber who has to stir the pot and get everyone riled up over nothing. Our shit disturber was a middle-aged woman wearing a fuschia pink nylon track suit with a purple sweat shirt with kittens on it (they had those jewels in their eyes...like the ones Ivana Trump tries to pawn off on the home shoppers network). She was walking around mumbling about how this was a ploy by BC Ferries because the ferry has hit something again or has broken down and they just don't want us to know about it, etc. etc. She would not shut up. Finally this BC Ferries employee appeared in the middle of the crowd and shouted "Look, the gentleman had a heart attack, everybody calm down, the ferry will be here soon!". With that, everyone calmed down (even the shit disturber) and felt bad for the guy who had a heart attack.

I read the Victoria Times Colonist yesterday though and on the front page it mentions the Saturday morning ferry delay. Turns out the 'heart attack guy' was actually a 40 year old guy who tripped and wiped out on an arcade game because he was a klutz! Granted he got a nasty gash on his head and a wee concussion but seriously, did that require turning the ferry full of people back to Victoria to tend to? And why not tell us the truth? Seriously, when will they build that bridge? I am sick to death of BC Ferries and all of the crap that comes with it: Long waits, fare going up every single trip, awful White Spot food, shitty coffee, 9$ salads and Pacificats (the catamaran, whale-killing, log running-over ferries that were used for 5 months, stupid NDP).

Pet Peeve #506,702D

Not that I am some sort of linguistics professor or learned person but it really irritates me when people mispronounce everyday words. What bugs me even more though is when people try to add new age or foreign lingo into their speech and fu*& it up. This list will be ongoing I fear as people seem to have issues with the English language as we know it.

Experiment: It's pronounced "ex-pear-i-ment" NOT "ex-spear-amint".

Spearmint gum should never be pronounced "spear-a-mint" gum, there is no 'a' in the middle last I checked.

Espresso: "es-press-oh", stop telling me you love to drink "express-oh" every morning.

Pumpkin: try saying "pump-kin" instead of 'Punk-kin"...that is just childish not to mention annoying.

Etcetera: it's "et-cet-er-ah" not not not "ex-cet-tera", jeeeeeez people, come on!

It's Duct Tape, NOT duck tape

Ticklish: "tick-lish" NOT "tick-el-lish"

Epitome: "e-pit-to-mee" not "epi-tome"...stick to small words would ya?

Ex-pecially?? Do I have to spell this one out for you? *shakes head*

Did you know that only 1/7 can pronounce nuclear correctly? Perhaps I am exaggerating but man, it's a lot of you!

Your doctor gave you a perscription for what? Funny cause mine only give me prescriptions...

Creature this one's for you: Well: I do not think I need to spell this one out, it's pronounced, well, NOT "wool" ;) *how could I resist NOT adding that to my list??*

This list will be ongoing. JJ.

p.s. Si Si, thanks for the wicked title ;)

Creature alerted me to another one: Raspberry is not pronounced 'razzberry'

I See Dead People...and Winnie the Pooh

My cousin from Vic came over to the 'Couv this weekend with her hubby and stayed with us for the evening. We played some board and card games and ate copious of Thai food all in preparation for our Sunday morning visit to Body Worlds 3 at Science World. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_Worlds

Going on the very last day of the exhibit was slightly annoying because everyone in Vancouver was there but with a little patience and time, we were able to get up close and personal with loads of dead people encased in plastic. It was a really cool thing to go see and also sorta creepy. I had no idea we are all made up of so much and this exhibit showed it all in amazing detail...every tendon, vein...everything! Highlights include: the hella cool dad explaining what testicles are to his 3 young daughters pointing with curiousity at the guy with quite a pair and of course the stupid Latina who did not read the brochure or obviously have neither tv, radio or internet because she had to ask her boyfriend half way through if these were real people.

After the exhibit we were all starving so we headed off to Earl's where we figured they would have something to eat for everyone in the group. We were greeted at the door by no one other than Winnie the Pooh! This blonde waif of a girl was the hostess and she was wearing a long sweater (just barely covered past her butt), no stockings and little ballerina flats...Keep in mind it was -6 outside and she did a poor job of shaving her legs. Perhaps I am a little conservative on the fashion scene but I do not know anyone other than Winnie the Pooh who can get away with going out in public with only his shirt on!

Goddaym I love Rootbeer

had some @ lunch, have not had it in ages and ages and I forgot how much I love it.

Don't Choose a Bank Based on a Snappy Vest and a Cute Accent

I am not a fan of the big banks here in Canada so when it came time for the man and I to choose where to get our very first mortgage, I did not hesitate for a second and chose ING Direct. I know of several people who went through them and loved the bank, the low interest rates and everything else. I already have my RSP and savings account through them so I figured it would be easy sailing. Boy was I wrong!

Every single step with these guys has consisted of several heated phone calls, me questioning their competence and it ending up being their fault 100% and them having to fix something for us. First it was us trying to close the deal with our place , then it was adding insurance to our place, then it was them 'forgetting' to cover our City of Vancouver property taxes and now it has to do with our first time home buyer's exemption.

I faxed them the forms in late October and thought all was good. I got a bit worried in mid-November when I heard nothing back from them. I faxed it a second time and again, the fax receipt said 'received on their end'. I called them just to make sure and they were like, 'Nope, we haven't received anything from you, Yes you were dialing the right number. First Time Home Buyer's Expemption? What ch'yu talkin' bout?" I calmly explained what it was and they said fax it YET again. Well it turns out they received it but never faxed the forms to the BC government; nice. So I get hit with a 4420$ tax bill yesterday from the BC government saying my bank did not send the forms to them at all.

So I call ING again and ask "Why did you not fax my forms?". Laura-Leigh from ING got all defensive, shrill and cranky saying 'we did SO send them'. I asked her for the fax transmission receipt and she came back with 'You are not privy to such information!'. WTF? I am possibly on the hook for over 4K cause you're retarded? I don't think so. (and YES, she actually did use the word 'privy' and did say 'we did SO'....classy I know).

All sorted now thanks to Ron @ BC Small Business and Revenue (you THE man!) but man am I pissed at ING yet again!!!

Goes to show that one should not pick a bank based on a guy in a snappy vest who has a cute Dutch accent *sigh* What was I thinking? Save your money my ass....