Monday, January 18, 2010

I’ve got a new attitude

The B-Line has turned me into a complete asshole. I used to be nice and queue along with the masses, patiently awaiting my rightful turn to get on the bus only to be broadsided by someone hell bent on budging and getting on before everyone else. After being hit in the face with umbrellas and newspapers as well as receiving several sharp elbows to my ribs (ow) I have decided that enough is enough, fuck this shit, I am getting on the goddamn bus. Seeing as I am about a foot taller than the major demographic that loves to budge their way onto the bus, I am at a major advantage; I can easily shove them to the side and I have yet to be left waiting for the next bus since I have adopted my new attitude.

3 comments:

Sisi said...

Whatever you do...don't use your hands to push people away. Use your elbows or shoulders or umbrella. Do not make eye contact and if you can, step on feet...HARD! I hate satellite bus boarders who hang out away from the door until the bus gets close and then swoop in. The trick is to be pushy...and I'm sure you're like me in that it's against my nature and I would rather be polite...but it's a war that you'll never win and it isn't going away anytime soon.
Make sure that if you are pushed out of the way by someone...try to get close to them on the bus and cough in their general direction..or if they are sitting down and you can sit beside them...do so and squish them when the bus turns. The other fun one is to make a fake phone call once you are in the bus and rant on about how ignorant that person is...and call them out in a passive aggressive way so that everyone on the bus knows that they are an asshole. :-)

Greg Elzinga said...

Also, you carry a briefcase & it is a valuable tool in making room for yourself when you swing around with it on.

I had a guy punch my briefcase once & I just laughed at him.

Anonymous said...

Good to be out of the rat race. Sucks to be over 60. Jack1946