Initiative

A former work colleague of mine told me a story about his 10 year old daughter today that made me proud and restored my faith in the American youth of today. P. lives in New York state and his daughter has a pen pal in Scotland. On her own initiative this weekend after hearing about the possible financial bailout and about McCain for the past several weeks, she took it upon herself to search for real estate in Scotland in the same neighbourhood as where her pen pal lives. Friggin' hilarious! What parent wouldn't be proud of that? Cracks me right up.

I am so smart, S-M-R-T!

Despite me feeling like a total dumbass, I still have to say that it's nice to know that I live in a very safe building. I went out last night to a birthday celebration. I came in pretty late and locked the deadbolt in the apartment behind me. The man got up early to go get his hair cut and said "Come here, look what you did!" Well, I had indeed turned the deadbolt but I had not shut the door first so basically the door was wide open all night/morning, nice; I suppose I had a little more to drink than I had thought! No one walked in and took anything so I have to say that I feel pretty safe in our new digs!

Living la vida National Enquirer

People who talk about the stock market, bailout plans, interest rates, etc. as if they have some sort of actual knowledge of these things are coming out of the woodwork this past week. All of a sudden everyone and their dog are speaking out about their theory on the US economy. Did y’all get an economics degree, an international banking background and a degree in US history and politics since last week when I talked to you and you did not even know what a ‘greenback’ was? That or most of you are talking out of your asses (noooo that can’t be!). Either way, it’s becoming highly annoying. Oh, and for the last time, just because it was on CNN does not make it the gospel, mmmkay???

Coach intervention

Coach had a huge sale on this week at their store on Burrard Street. It was absolute mayhem: women everywhere grabbing at anything and everything, beautiful wallets and handbags at fire sale prices, ladies following one another to make sure they were actually buying the bag and not putting it back on the shelf, etc. It was a pretty fun way to spend a lunch hour really. I went there with my fave posse from work and we helped one colleague in particular as he shopped for a handbag for his very stylish wife. He had a hideous looking denim-esque Coach bag in his hand and we all saw it from different corners of the store and rushed in to tell him that it was ugly and to put it back. It was a true intervention and it was beautiful how we all came together to make sure that P’s wife did not get an ugly looking handbag, ahhh teamwork.

Crosswalks are bad

You know who you are *chirp, chirp*; do you push the walk button over and over and over again at an intersection every damn morning all the while that chirpy sound the button makes is driving everyone at the bus stop beside you absolutely bonkers? *chirp, chirp* Notice how people tell you to friggin’ stop doing that *chirp, chirp, chirp*, that it doesn’t make the light change any faster every single day *chirp, chirp*? You wear the same pink, ill-fitting jacket everyday so you’re pretty hard to miss. *chirp, chirp, chirp* For 3 straight minutes, every single weekday, you make me and everyone else at that bus stop want to slap you silly *chirp*.

Oasis Car Wash

Is it just me or does everyone at the Oasis Car Wash in North Van look like an escaped convict? We bring Hatchy there about once a month for a wash and a wax. The men there all wear orange jump suits, look scruffy, smoke heavily and they all have scary looking tattoos and piercings. It’s kind of a freaky looking place but man they do a good job and all for only $15.

Office Etiquette 101: Speakerphone & you

People who conduct loud conference calls on speakerphone without shutting their office door…Hellooooo, I too am trying to get some work done here. We get that you are trying to make sure that we all hear just how important you are but could you please close the damn door already so the rest of us can get some work done already?

Bus Batman

I seem to be on the same time schedule as the new vigilante of the #19 Stanley Park/Metrotown bus. He has taken it upon himself to educate the masses on the proper way to disembark on a bus. The other day a woman was holding her toddlers small little hand and was stepping off the bus at her stop. A pushy woman behind her decided that they weren’t moving fast enough so she slammed into momma and toddler which sent momma on her butt on the friggin’ sidewalk. Cue Bus Batman! He came flying off the bus slamming pushy lady into a tree and screamed “are you freakin’ kidding me??”. Pushy woman gets up looking all stunned while everyone on the bus cheered and those of us who got off at the same stop all gave Bus Batman fist bumps, booyah, in your face pushy people. Learn some goddamn manners already.